Colorful cast of characters

My first true post. Yahtzee.

As previously noted, part of this blog's intention is to air out my personal issues, and like it or not, they involve the people in my life. So, not to get anyone confused, I think you should know the people* that impact and impacted upon my life. They are:

My Father: I have a love-hate relationship with my father. Do not get me wrong. I do love him and I know he loves me. However, in the past couple years it has become more and more obvious to me that I may never make him happy. I know it is not my job to do so, but it always seems like he is judging me. We have always clashed on what is perceived to be important in regards to my life. He has always regretted by not teaching me enough stuff around the house and leaving me to my own devices. Yet, I have always been bitter towards him for not teaching me any life lessons; anything about women, personal character etc. I had to pick up with little I know on my own. By not teaching me to be a man, he and my mother had basically thrown me out of a speeding car. What angers me the most is that I have been his son for almost 23 years and his still doesn't understand that my emotional needs/happiness outweigh anything else.

My Mother: I have a better relationship with my mother, though we still have some problems. Like most mothers, she still sees me as eight, and doesn't think me as responsible enough to get up in the morning (even though I keep two alarms just in case). I have always tried to encourage her and be kind and loving but she makes it difficult sometimes. She had to make a lot of tough decisions before I was even born and it breaks my heart. The sad truth is that I cannot talk to her or my father about anything in my personal life. Sure, they know about my friends and some base stuff, but the deeper things, that they probably should be talking about, doesn't happen. That's the problem really. We don't talk.

My Sister: The relationship with my sister has improved a little bit as we gotten older. She currently is out of state working on her doctorate. She is a smart, responsible girl. I always felt I had to measure up to her but could never do so. However, her successes in her studies have a silver lining; in her quest for near perfection she has completely stressed herself out. She has plenty of problems that even I don't know about probably. She has her stuff together which is more than I can say about myself. I am proud of her and despite our problems from time to time I care about her as well.

Sarge: My oldest friend of almost 11 years. He is a decent fellow despite being more a screw up in his younger years. He is prone to annoying me sometimes with his unreliability but he is gotten better in the passing years. He is rather loyal to me and likewise I am to him. Despite his hangups he is fun to hang out with, though I wish we would do some different things. Currently has turned his life around and enlisted in the Air Force. Never had been more proud.

Donut: Sarge's best buddy. A big jolly fellow also plagued with unreliability. A random guy who tastes border on insanity, Donut is known for doing outlandish dares with his other friends. Currently in film school in DC, which I would have more faith in if it weren't for the fact he had dropped out of community college twice already in the time it took me to get my degree.

Griff: An ex-marine who is now home, planning his next move, Griff and me never got along for a long time. I think he used to hate me. Ironically, after attending a bad bachelor party (in which the groom wanted to see GI JOE) and a mutual hatred for a acquaintance of Sarge's brought us to what can be considered as friends. Like me, he doesn't have many people to hang out with and we go to the movies a lot. Prone to tall tales and pathological lying, Griff is nevertheless and interesting and humorous guy, if you like your humor black.

Yankee: Another friend in town. He is the more straight laced of my friends. Originally in psychology, has now switched to nursing for the jobs it has. Though he is a decent dude, I don't hang out with him too much for whatever reason.

Kenobi: Probably my best friend (who co-chairs with Sarge due to seniority) I met him during my sophomore year of college through Hendrix. We became fast friends due to our similar interests and mindsets. Though we seem like normal dudes, get a couple drinks in us and who knows what we'll do. Part of the reason our friendship is so strong is because I have been able to tell him things I never told anyone else and he has done the same for me. I am probably most loyal to him out of my friends. I would never cross him.

Hendrix- Met him during my sophomore year of college as well. A very intelligent man, he is a triple threat with his smarts, his drawing, and guitar playing which he coached himself raw over several years. Despite having plenty of things going for him, he is plagued by a somewhat hellish childhood and self doubt. Like me, his attempts with women are prone to sabotage by outside forces. I worry that his problems will consume him. I hope he will rise above them. And proceed to curb stomp them.

DarkSailorMoon- Kenobi's girlfriend of several years. A strange specimen indeed. A math whiz who is very quiet but is intriguing in her own way. Her nickname comes from a Halloween costume she wore where she was supposed to be "Night." She also supplied one of our favorite party weekend quotes of all time. Her and Kenobi work well for each other but only time will tell.

Sandra- I met her in high school when I was 16. She is was practically the first girl who really got to know me without it being required of her. I credit her for helping me come out of my shell and grow as a young man. Sandra is the first girl I'd ever loved and the first girl to (albeit unintentionally) break my heart. I haven't seen her since graduation, though last I heard she is living in town somewhere, I have no other information. Assuming she is alive and attends, I'll see her at the reunion and look forward to it.

Delilah- I met her in college. She is the physical and emotional epitome of everything I want in a woman. She was the second girl I've loved and had my heart broken by. When I first met her it looked like we would date but it didn't work out (her end, not mine). We became friends though part of me didn't want to be obviously but I wanted her in my life even if it was that; she is amazing and I have never thought anything less. Her vibrancy for life is unparalleled and she's a smart cookie to boot. Part of me still cares for her than more than a friend even now. I know she knows that, but I doubt she understands how much I care for her. All I know is this; I miss her every day.

These are the core people of my life. They shape my world for the better and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

*NOTE* I decided to use pseudonyms for everyone for several reasons. First, so those who reads this blog wouldn't immediately know who they are. I chose these names since most of them only have relevance to me or them. Secondly, some of the things I will be talking about is personal and I thought it would be best to keep it semi-private for their sakes.

Until next time, fly high and fly well.