The problem with "Found Footage" films

First of all an apology is in order. When I called the first Blair Witch the grandfather of found footage flicks I was wrong. The above is actually considered with that distinct honor. Moving on.

Ok, here is my main point on while these films are pointless. They have no suspense whatsoever. Think about it. How do these films usually end? With a dead person dropping the camera. They all end the same way. With the last person dead. Don't believe me? Think about the above movie. Or...

Blair Witch.
Cloverfield.
Rec/Quarantine
The Last Exorcism

Or even the upcoming Apollo 18. Is their a single person that doesn't know how that one is going to end?

I didn't think so.

If you go into every film like this with the knowledge that everyone is going to die it makes everything you are about to watch pointless. No matter what is going on, you cannot have any emotional investment whatsoever with the characters on screen since you already know their fate. You can not be wrapped up in whether they will live or die because they are all going to die.

Spoiler to end all spoilers. Every found footage horror film ends with everyone dying despite their strenuous efforts to stay alive.

There.

I just saved you countless hours and dollars. Enjoy the extra time.

Until next time, fly high and fly well.

Update with life

Been out of comission for a while. Work and stuff. Just a few updates.

-Day off today. Saw Fast Five. Pretty damn good. I'm up for part 6.

-I was going to start rewrites tonight but my heart wasn't in it. I'll start tomorrow when I'm back into business mode. I do have 6 days in a row ahead of me.

-Work is...work. Making money but bored as hell. Plus I'm a little tired of getting all these nicks and bruises. And stuff falling on my head. The ole' noggin can only take so many hits.

I'll do some blogging later tonight and I should have some new topics coming up as I work on the subjects involving them. We shall see.

Until next time, fly high and fly well.

Uwe Boll needs to stop making video game movies

This argument isn't a new one.

Uwe Boll. You need to stop with video game adaptations. They. Are. Crap.

And not even so bad it's good crap. Just fucking crap. It has made you a laughingstock in the film community. The Ed Wood of your generation. Problem is they aren't going to make a good movie with Johnny Depp playing you. Your are the worst kind of joke when you make these.

The sad thing, when anyone meets you, they tell that A) You're a nice guy and B) You have a deep respect for film and what it can do.

Even more so, you have great potential that gets polished with every film. But by every film I mean every film that is NOT involving video games.

Look at these pictures I posted. Each of these are a Uwe Boll film. And each, while not perfect are actually GOOD. I know, shocking.

Most throw the viewer under the truck with "the point". They are all over the top violent. They have a tiny bit of bad acting in each. But at the same time, all show the potential of the films he should be making. These films all have something to say, and it actually works.

Out of the four, the best is a toss up between Rampage and Darfur (I refuse to call it AOD, stupid retitling). Rampage is basically what the POSTAL movie should have been (as a fan of the original PC game). It had a fantastic performance by lead Brendan Fletcher, a insane ahem Rampage through the town, a high body count, and some social commentary to boot.

As for Darfur, it takes a serious, real issue, and treats it with dignity. Sure it goes on and on with the killing and raping, but that is exactly the point. This happens every day. Not enough is done. Sure a few will stand up and try to stop it. But a few is not enough. For a film that was basically ab-libbed throughout, no one gives a bad performance and the overall arc of the film is a kick to the gut. Visceral film making at its finest.

So, I doubt Mr. Boll will see this but; Mr. Boll I do like some of your movies. They have nothing to do with video game adaptations; they actually have something to do, something to say. You have potential in your craft. If you stop this madness now and focus on non-video game films, you could possibly redeem your career with the industry and perhaps become less of a joke. The choice is yours and only time will tell.

Until next time, fly high and fly well.

The novel is done

Might as well make a formal announcement here as well.

My second novel "Tranquility" is finished. After two scrapped works after "Faith" I finally got a completed work to paper. In 30 days. Who says madness doesn't pay.

It was a particularly crazy month as two weeks into it, I got the temp job at AR (which despite my ranting I'm still at). That became a problem because I worked nights so there was many a day when I was up till 3 or 4 working. That made me irritable to say the least.

Some of the stuff was definitely rushed especially the last two arcs but that is what rewrites are for. Which by the way I will attempt to tackle after taking a good week or two off away from it. I got myself 103 single space pages and 55000+ words. That's nothing to shake a stick at. Like to see you do it. I'm part of an elite squad no if ands or buts about it.

My slogan for the month was from Battle of LA. "Marines don't quit." Well neither do I. I think I've proven that.

Until next time, fly high and fly well.

Blair Witch: 12 years later

I have a confession to make.

Up until the night before, I had never seen the Blair Witch Project.

It's a funny thing to say considering it's been out forever, I'm a huge horror fan, and I've seen all the hype, the backlash, the bad parodies. Hell I even played one of the games based off the movies. I just never did it but for 5 dollars at Target I thought what the hell. So I bought it and intended to watch it with an open mind.

The end result? I can understand why people thought it was over hyped. Personally I didn't find it that particularly scary. And yet I didn't think it was a BAD film. Let me attempt to explain.

What I mean is I did like the idea of the film, the granddaddy of "found footage" films. The three main characters all gave great performances with nary a false note and the film moved at a fast clip. It's just not as scary as the reviewers claimed. Maybe I'm desensitized to horror or whatever but a good sixty minutes is them doing the documentary and progressively get lost. There were only a few scenes of true terror.

They were and SPOILERS for the two people who hadn't seen it yet.
-The tent shaking scene
-Heather learning of Josh's probable demise via severed tongue and teeth.
-The finding of the stick figures.
-The last ten minutes in the house of Rustin Parr.

These moments though are far and between. But once again I can't say it was a bad film. It just feels disjointed; two different films mashed together really. The ending was really good how they framed it, but looking back the people who compared it to the unnerving power of The Exorcist just sound silly now.

The thing is I can't really consider it horror. If I had to give it anything, it would be psychological but even that is loose in my usual definition. When I think of psychological I think of Spiral (a great flick I need to watch again) or The Machinist.

So I guess in closing I'll say this; It was still good despite the above, I can understand why people harped on it badly afterwards, and I really don't need/want to see it again. It was a filler movie nothing more.

I've ordered Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 off Amazon which should be here in a few days. I'm wondering to see if I fall on the side of the "cult classic" fans or the "this is fucking crap" detractors. We shall see and I'll post about it later.

Until next time, fly high and fly well.

Osama is dead. Plus Saddam and Gaddafi

When the news hit on Sunday that Osama Bin Laden was killed I didn't believe it.


It was crazy to say the least. The big bad wolf was finally tracked down and taken out. I wasn't going to be one of the overly jubilant but I cannot lie and say that I wasn't glad he is gone from the world. The man took the greatest gift a person had which was life and pissed it away in order to hurt others. And for what? Believing others than yourself to be infidels? Anything can be interpreted one way. One guys terrorist is another one's prophet.

Side Tangent: I think the fact he was finally taken out redeems President Bush a little. His saying "He can run but he can't hide." had been a joke for quite some time and now he has been vindicated a bit. It may of not have happened during his administration, but he looks like a less of an an idiot. Just saying.


What makes it worse is that 0ne of the men killed was one of his sons. It may of have been one of his sons that joined him in jihad but that doesn't matter. The fact of the matter is that he took one of his children with him because of his bullshit.


Thinking of that makes me think of Saddam Hussein, the former dictator. He poisoned his entire family, and screwed up all his kids. His sons were total psychotics that went down the road of Dad to the Nth degree. Saddam also gave his WORD to his daughter that her husband who had enemies would not be killed. The guy was murdered within a month of returning to Iraq. When Saddam's sons were killed, one of Saddam's grand kids was killed with them.


Which brings us to Gadaffi, the soon to be deposed/killed leader of Libya. Just recently a bombing killed one of his sons and three grandchildren. It's terrible that the innocent family members of men like him have to be the casualties.

Overall, these are my thoughts. These guys are/were awful people. But beyond that, they were shitty fathers. They let their kids get caught in the crossfire, and be poisoned with their crap. I think of a key scene from the show Nip/Tuck in which Julia berates Christan:

"You know why you will never be a good father Christan? Because father's want their sons to be better than them...Not carbon copies."

If I was one of these guys, I would have NEVER let my kids get involved in my crap. I would do everything in my power to make sure they have a life far away from that stuff. Make sure they stay safe. I may be a bad men, but I would try my best to be a good father, and protect my children. In this, among MANY other things, these three had epic fails.

When I think about these guys and the things they have done I just think of the one question: "Has anything you've done made your life better?" I mean all this death, this destruction, the religious harping has it enriched their being here on this earth. I think these guys have it all twisted; they are so concerned with the Paradise they will have in death, that they have forgotten to live. Of course if I ever got close to one of these guys to actually ask this, I would captured and executed live on Al-Jazerra.

You know actually scratch that. If I was going to say anything, I'd steal from Wes Craven. To quote horror heroine Sidney Prescott:

"You know why you kill people...do you? Because you choose to their is no else to blame. Why don't you take some FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY!"

So 3 different guys but thematically similar. Two are dead, and one is probably on his way out. They have left countless dead (including their own kids) and inflamed the world around them. There are plenty of ways to get a message across. What they have done was definitely NOT the right way to do it.

Apparently they didn't get the memo. None of them for that matter.

Until next time, fly high and fly well.

A notice, and my international audience

Just a quick post. I'll be back later tonight to do some serious blogging at least a few.

Just a shout out to my international audience. To the people in China, Denmark, Germany, Slovenia, Romania, Russia etc. Big thanks for checking out.

Good to know I'm internationally known lol.

Until next time fly high and fly well.